We recently sat down with Occulus Rex, one of the aliens attacking earth in the tower defense style downloadable pc game from Puppy Games available for purchase at $13.37. In general Mr Rex treated us with disdain but showed some patience by waiting to eat our writer until after the interview which was kind and considerate of Mr Rex. Occulus Rex refused to share his picture for fear of being targeted by the earthling’s facial recognition software. Consumers can download Revenge of the Titans to their PC, Linux or Mac computers.
We understand you are attacking the earth in the tower defense style strategy video game called Revenge of the Titans from PuppyGames. We appreciate you taking time out of your busy day to address our questions. Our readers want to get to know the real Occulus Rex, straight from his communicating orifice. They want to know both Occulus Rex the invading Titan Warrior from another world and the Occulus Rex, the regular every day down to earth titan when you are not attacking your planetary foes. So our questions contain a mix of war and leisure (fun) questions.
1. Your name: Occulus Rex. Is Rex your last name or first? What’s your middle name?
Filthy Earth-being, you are not fit to name the bones of my last meal! Trouble me not with your meaningless syllables, for I am named in my own tongue in a language your miniscule voices cannot utter!
2. According to the title of the pc game, Revenge of the Titans, you are seeking revenge. What’s up? Why are you seeking revenge?
After rejecting our just and benevolent rule but five of your Earth-years ago, our esteemed leaders and warlords believed it would be wise to push forth our political agenda once more upon was passes for your wretched civilization.
3. Finish this sentence: Revenge is a dish best served ________________?
With a large pile of mince manflesh.
4. What role do you play in the attack on earth? Are you a general or an ordinary soldier?
I am leader of the Third Batallion of the Eighth Tentacle of the Glorious C’thon. I command fifteen of my weaker brethren. Glory will be ours as we trample your miniscule installations!
5. Which earth weapon do you fear the most? The least? Why?
We fear no Earth weapons, for we are without fear! Except, possibly, your so-called heavy weapons, which appear particularly effective on our battle formations and tactics. Word has spread to our troops though – use these weapons and we shall redouble our efforts!
6. Can you comment on the rumor that you have turned one of the earth scientists into your spy?
Titans have no need for spies! We crush all before us!
7. How many calories do you burn when you attack earth?
I should need to eat a thousand of your miserable souls before I am replete again.
8. Are you from the same planet as the aliens in the 1997 movie “Independence Day” starring Will Smith?
Pah! Such “aliens” are mere fiction. We are REAL.
9. Are you as angry as the Angry Birds?
10. Have you thought about taking anger management classes?
When I was a mere spawnling, Great Warrior Krathoss the Mangler, our broodmaster, taught us well that in order to release anger we must crush our enemies and see them driven before us, and hear the lamentation of their spawn-partners. This has served me well for thousands of your Earth years.
11. How about meditation?
In quite moments between times of war, I often think of new recipies for the alien life-forms I have encountered and destroyed in my many battles.
12. In Revenge of the Titans you seem a little stiff. Do you stretch or practice yoga prior to battles?
Prior to battles we kill our weakest soldiers, to honourably save our enemies from the bother of doing it themselves. This tends to loosen the limbs and prepare the mind for battle.
13. What do you do for fun on your home planet?
We invade other planets.
14. Do you have media outlets like TMZ or Perez Hilton on your planet? How about the internet?
There is only the Voice of the Mind Tentacle. We have no need for this “internet” of which you speak. The Mind Tentacle is all-knowing.
15. When you aren’t attacking earth do you play any downloadable PC games? What’s your favorite game genre: puzzle, strategy, match3, hidden object, card, or maybe 1st person shooter games?
Games that involve crushing things, stamping on hundreds of tiny life-forms, and roasting their loved ones. On Titan we have none of these “PCs” of which you speak, but then we have no need of them, when we can simply invade somewhere and play for real.
16. Do you prefer indie games or triple AAA titles?
Your question baffles me, Earth-being. I take everything I want.
17. What kind of education system exists on your world? How about health care?
Spawnlings are educated quickly, and learn to avoid being eaten by their older siblings from an early age. Health care works in a similar way on Titan, in that, we eat those too unhealthy or sick to escape.
18 Can you comment on the rumor that you have turned one of the earth scientists into your spy?
There must be something amiss with your Universal Translation Module, human. We turned an Earth scientist into a dessert. I see now that your word for dessert is similar phonetically to our word for spy, but this is because of the subsonic frequencies in our phonemes that you
are unable to hear.
19. Do you use the nickname “smother” when referring to your female parent? Does she pressure you for grandchildren?
Her nickname was “breakfast” for many years, until one evening I ate her for dinner. The irony! We laughed for many days about this.
20. Are you married? Have any children? Pets?
My spawning-partners have so far delivered twelve clutches of eggs, and nearly three hundred of my offspring have survived long enough to eat the pets we have brought them from distant worlds. Many died gloriously in the attack on Zaragoza! I am a proud father.
21. Will you ever consider plastic surgery at any point in your career?
A Titan wears his battle scars with pride! Surgery is for weaklings
such as yourselves.
22. Are there any final comments you want to share with our readers?
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!
John Busher contributed the interview questions. Puppy Games Development team provided the answers.