The unhinged HarryBalls editorial team conducted an email interview with a microphone who claims it works for CNN, the cable news network. We cannot positively confirm the microphone’s identity but its CNN – does it matter? If you think this interview with an inanimate object like a microphone from CNN represents CNN’s official position than you may want to consider consulting with a psychotherapist who specializes in common sense and reality.
HarryBalls.com: Hello CNN Microphone. Thank you for sharing your time today with us.
CNN’s Microphone: No problem. I am so excited Obama’s control legislation passed the Senate today. You heard it from me first.
HarryBalls.com: Which Senate are you talking about?
CNN’s Microphone: The United States Senate.
HarryBalls.com: Dare I ask what makes you think the Gun Control Legislation passed?
CNN’s Microphone: Multiple CNN’s microphones heard it from multiple anonymous computers in and around the United States Government.
HarryBalls.com: You mean you heard it from multiple people using multiple computers in an around Washington DC.
CNN’s Microphone: No. I have regular conversations with inanimate objects like computers as well as iPads, Androids, Blackberries and even occasionally a Microsoft phone occasionally.
HarryBalls.com: Ok. Does your power cord fully reach the outlet?
CNN’s Microphone: What the f is that supposed to mean? My CNN Microphone colleagues and I have confirmed that a source “briefed” on the legislation had told a CNN Microphone that it has passed.
HarryBalls.com: Aren’t you the same people that reported the Supreme Court struck down Obama’s landmark healthcare legislation.
CNN’s Microphone: Yeah. So what? The Supreme Court did strike down Obama’s health care legislation.
HarryBalls.com: Wow. How long have you been working at CNN?
CNN’s Microphone: Seven years. Thankfully.
HarryBalls.com: What did you do before that?
CNN’s Microphone: What do you mean?
HarryBalls.com: What’s your background? What makes you qualified to report stories at CNN?
CNN’s Microphone: I am really confused I don’t understand what you mean.
HarryBalls.com: Did anyone alive in CNN’s management do a background check to see if you are qualified to communicate news to the masses?
CNN’s Microphone: Why would they perform a background check?
know if I was qualified to report news to billions of people who watch CNN worldwide?
HarryBalls.com: To make sure you possess the sanity, emotional intelligence, experience and the educational background a microphone would need to report factually accurate news.
CNN’s Microphone: Why does that matter? We measure our success by the speed of our reporting not the accuracy. Have you ever seen an out of shape CNN Microphone? Have you seen John King’s microphone? Sure it’s an older model but it’s in great shape to get any news out there before anyone else.
John M. Busher wrote this post. If you appreciate this kind of humor and would like to support Mr. Busher you can buy his short satirical ebooks published through a service called Smashwords. You can read the books on pretty much all electronic devices – PC, Kindle, iPad, Nook etc.