Chappaqua, NY – (Busher Report) Hillary Clinton, the number one undeclared 2016 democratic Presidential candidate, has hired actor Alec Baldwin and New Jersey Governor Chris Christie to serve as her anger management advisors.
Said Ms. Clinton, “While I may possess many of the personality ingredients expected of a United States President, in light of my recent meltdown on NPR’s Fresh Air with Terry Gross, it’s clear I need to work on being more rational, poised, calm and diplomatic when dealing with the lame stream media and absolutely everyone I come in contact with. While assassination worked for the Vince Foster situation, I am pretty sure I might get caught if I continue to take out any human who crosses me. The numbers just don’t work even if I use drones on US soil.
Misters Baldwin and Christie have proven many times throughout their careers how skilled they are when interacting with other human beings. I hope I can absorb any human relations wisdom either man will share with me. “
While illegally riding his bicycle on an extremely crowded New York City sidewalk next to the bicycle lane on the street and screaming at all the pedestrians to clear the way for an extremely handsome, talented, and calm celebrity named Alec, Mr. Baldwin said: “If the Jack Donaghy character I portrayed on the television show 30 Rock can successfully mentor the Liz Lemon character, played by Tine Fey, then I, as Alec Baldwin, can certainly help coach a tumor loving loose cannon like Hillary Clinton in the dark arts of emotional management. I mean I won the Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild award for the Jack Donaghy role. I’m the best person for this role especially given my fantastic experience hosting a talk show the gay mafia forced MSNBC to cancel. “
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie shared the following thoughts while giving a double fisted pummeling to a sixty-eight year old elderly female resident of Seaside Heights who asked him when the state will process her claim for damages from Hurricane Sandy, “As you can see I have mastered my emotions and the ability to engage my constituents with both my fists. I am honored and proud to help Ms. Clinton reach her human potential. This represents yet another example of my ability to work with folks from across the aisle to advance my own personal political ambitions. ”
Misters Baldwin and Christie will share the master bedroom with Ms. Clinton in her New York State home.
John Busher authored this satirical post. If you appreciate this kind of humor and would like to support Mr. Busher you can buy one or all of his short satirical ebooks he self published through a service called Smashwords for $0.99 each so he can pay his bills while he writes a full length satirical novel called “America’s Next Puppet Regime”. You can read the books on pretty much all electronic devices – PC, Kindle, iPad, Nook etc.