Ronaldo Apologizes to United States Soccer Fans: Didn’t Mean to Send the Perfect Cross

Cristiano Ronaldo Apologizes to United States Soccer Fans: Didn’t Mean to Send the Perfect Cross

Cristiano Ronaldo Apologizes to United States Soccer Fans: Didn’t Mean to Send the Perfect Cross

Sao Paola, Brazil (Busher Report) – Two days after Portugal’s improbable goal scored in the very last second of the extended injury time against the United States in footballs World Cup Group G action Sunday Christian Ronaldo issued the following apology to United States football fans:

“I am really really sorry. I hope the United States football fans can find it in their hearts to forgive me. I have worked my whole life to miss the opportunity to advance my home country, Portugal’s, team in the World Cup. I really meant to kick the ball way out of bounds so time would expire which would have enabled the United State to advance to the second round of the 2014 World Cup.

Some mysterious force took control of my leg just as I was winding up to boot the ball away from Silvestre Varela. Maybe the force was destiny, God or some laser beam from an unmanned United States drone, I don’t know. Does it really matter? The damage to the United States was done.

It’s the most embarrassing thing I have ever accomplished in my football career. The United States economic culture dominates in all areas except the sport everyone in the world calls football. Doesn’t the United States who calls football soccer deserve a chance to win the world’s most prestigious sports tournament?”


John Busher authored this satirical post. If you appreciate this kind of humor and would like to support Mr. Busher you can buy one or all of his short satirical ebooks he self published through a service called Smashwords for $1.99 each so he can pay his bills while he writes a full length satirical novel called “America’s Next Puppet Regime”. You can read the books on pretty much all electronic devices – PC, Kindle, iPad, Nook etc.

1. Donny The Drone’s Terrific Guide to American Exceptionalism.

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