(Menlo Park, CA) – Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook’s young Dobbs Ferry, NY raised billionaire CEO, announced plans to bar real news from all media outlets except Fox News from appearing on both the Facebook web site and within the Facebook mobile application. Facebook will only allow folks to publish fake upbeat news with a untrue but humorous story.
Said Zuckerberg, “The real news is just so dark these days. Constant stories of political scandals, tyranny, terrorist attacks, police brutality, politicians accusing each other of incompetence, dark money unfairly influencing elections, drone strikes on innocent middle eastern civilians, man-made climate changing pollution. The news misery doesn’t end. I have decided to ban real news from every media outlet in the world from Facebook with the exception of Fox News. They are just too fair and balanced, broadcasting heartwarming truthful stories of hope and cooperation among peoples of all races, genders, sexuality and religion.”
Zuckerberg happily continues, ”Facebook will only allow fake funny news to circulate on our platform. Funny news makes people laugh. Laughing people are happier. If Facebook makes people happy they will stay on the site longer. It’s simple, algorithmic, common core math. Who doesn’t get this? Screw the First Amendment.”
John M. Busher wrote this post. If you appreciate this kind of humor and would like to support Mr. Busher you can buy his short satirical ebooks published through a service called Smashwords. You can read the books on pretty much all electronic devices – PC, Kindle, iPad, Nook etc.