(Pyongyang, North Korea) – Kim Jon Un, North Korea’s humble and benevolent shepherd and the new owner of the Seattle Seahawks as of midnight February 2nd, relieved Pete Carroll of his head coaching duties and replaced him with Seth Rogen, comedic filmmaker extraordinaire.
“NBC Football Analyst Chris Collinsworth said it best about 1000x times in five minutes last night (someone should train Collinsworth in the basics of sports broadcasting), ‘I can’t believe the call’ referring to Carroll’s decision to have quarterback Russell Wilson throw a fully inflated football to wide receiver Richardo Lockette rather than handing it off to running back Marshawn Lynch,” said an exasperated Kim Jong Un.
Un continues, “I knew my bff billionaire and fellow entrepreneur Paul Allen lacked the cojones to remove Pete Carroll for making the worst play call in Super Bowl history. Allen is just too nice a fella. So I did the right thing – I made Allen an offer he couldn’t refuse (I love ‘The Godfather’) to take over the Seahawks and immediately fired Pete Carroll. Everyone is accountable.
Seth Rogen did such a wonderful job with the sweet buddy comedy movie ‘The Interview’ I thought it made sense to hire him to replace Carroll as head coach of the Seahawks with one caveat. James Franco must not ever enter the locker room nor is he allowed anywhere near the cheerleaders. Although Lizzy Caplan has a standing invitation to join me in my luxury corporate suite at Century Link field. She’s welcome to bring as many guests as she likes since I have only the most honorable intentions towards her.”
John M. Busher wrote this post. If you appreciate this kind of humor and would like to support Mr. Busher you can buy his short satirical ebooks published through a service called Smashwords. You can read the books on pretty much all electronic devices – PC, Kindle, iPad, Nook etc.