Political Humor By Will Durst
Political Humor by Will Durst
And now for your weekly update in the world of poly ticks.
Run for your lives, people, because it’s complete chaos out there. In the pre-summer rush to wrangle positive press; current presidential candidates, potential presidential candidates, former presidential candidates, former presidents, and current presidents are viciously competing for track space in a freakish spectacle of careening into walls and spinning out of control like souped- up bumper cars during a power surge. To say it is not a pretty sight is similar to intimating that encountering hot oily transmission parts in the bowels of your sleeping bag is not an optimal proposition. (more…)
THE NEW TAR PITS by Will Durst
Kind of sad being forced to watch the death struggle of these modern- day dinosaurs. Responsible parents should keep their kids from peering over the Plexiglas railing into the tar pits below to see the huge lumbering antediluvian beasts frenziedly dig themselves deeper into the sticky morass that is gay marriage. Not a sight for the queasy or squeamish. (more…)
Thoughts Floating Through Rick Perry’s Head
Photo Courtsey of CNN.
1. What would Olivia Pope advise me to do in this situation?
2. Frank Underwood murdered two people on his way to the Presidency so this should be a piece of cake.
3. Can you tell I practiced this smile all weekend?
4. I wonder if I can use this photo on the cover of my memoir? (more…)
Top Economists Call for World War III to Save Economy
By Dan Geddes, The Satirist
WASHINGTON – Several leading economists have recently called for a new major war as the best means to solve the world’s six-year old economic crisis.
Nobel-nominated economist Karl Strauss of the University of Chicago stated: “Major war is the time-honored cure for economic stagnation.”
Strauss elaborated: “War is an important variable within geopolitical game theory. Ideally, the President would choose a war that would cause perpetual–yet controlled–wars, such as those described in George Orwell’s 1984. Controlled wars are the best wars for the long-term health of the economy, as well as for maintaining national unity.” (more…)
Jackson Hole, Wyoming (Busher Report) The 1994 version of Dick Cheney reminded the 2014 version of Dick Cheney of his thoughts about Iraq should Saddam Hussein retire from leading Iraq, “The current Iraq ISIS in situation validates my opinion captured in this 1994 video from the American Enterprise Institute that Iraq would be a complete chaotic mess without Saddam Hussein.” (more…)
Officially Unofficial Chris Christie Bridgegate Executive Summary
Here are the conclusions and recommendations to the officially unofficial Bridgegate Report New Jersey Governor Chris Christie paid $1,000,000 of taxpayer money to clear his ass. You can read the complete interview with this same BridgeGate Report here conducted, Sativa Sue, a beautiful fragrant large bud of sativa marijuana.
1. Chris Christie runs a really, really, tight ship. (more…)
Chris Christie's Bridgegate Report Blames Putin, Obamacare and Jimmy Carter
Combative New Jersey Governor Chris Christie released his own unbiased independent Bridgegate report produced by Gibson, Dunn, & Crutcher, a law firm his administration hired to investigate the George Washington Bridge Four Day Traffic Jam caused by the shutdown of three lanes on the entrance to the bridge.
Sativa Sue, a large beautiful bud of sativa marijuana and the only sativa marijuana plant that blogs for the satirical news site HarryBalls.com scored the first interview with Christie’s Bridgegate report. How does an inanimate object like a bud of sativa marijuana named Sue interview a bunch of papers bound together? Magic happens in the world of satirical fiction known as HarryBalls.com. (more…)
Daniel Larison, a writer for The American Conservative and Politico, wrote a post about Florida Senator Marco Rubio suggesting in the sub head that “Marco Rubio is going nowhere”. I, Sativa Sue, a beautiful fragrant bud of Sativa Marjiuana interviewed the concept “Nowhere” to get its thoughts on Marco Rubio’s future. (more…)
A Bud of Sativa Marijuana-Interviews-Vladimir Putins-Left-Nipple
Hello reader. You are looking at words written by a well-adjusted beautiful bud of sativa marijuana, the strain of pot that some folks prefer for its ability to help them unleash their inner mad creative genius. My parents named me Sativa Sue and I earn extra income by conducting and publishing satirical interviews with inanimate objects in the news for HarryBalls.com. Crazy Harry and his team published my first exclusive piece where I quizzed President Obama’s Golf Putter about the United States’ reaction to Russia’s incursion into the Crimean peninsula-part of the Ukraine.
Shortly after the putter piece hit the electronic newsstands, the left nipple of Russia’s President Vladimir Putin personally contacted me via Twitter to offer its own perspective to Obama’s putter’s comments. (more…)
The crafty Harry Balls editorial team named the Top Six Least Influential Famous Political Inanimate Objects and their favorite apps.
6. United States Senator Marco Rubio’s Water Bottle – The free version of “Where’s My Water” because Republicans refuse to spend money on anything. (more…)